Valentine’s Day : Keeping the Romance Alive with Kids

The concept of romance, or a happy partnership is often raised when I’m talking with my girlfriends. Romance. If you ask me it pretty darn important in a successful marriage. Incredibly important if you plan to be happy when travelling. I’ve found that there is a common thread in our discussions on happiness. On healthy, loving relationships between a couple where the spark is still very much alight.

Whilst I’m not real expert on relationships, ours is still strong after 15 years. I think I know why.

1. Shared dreams. If you’re wishes are similar, whether it’s a dream travel destination, your forever house or a car that can tow a caravan, it will fuel discussions. Working towards it together and setting goals to reach that dream bring a sense of success. This also lends itself to fulfilling dreams on special occasions – a surprise dinner at a restaurant we have both been wanting to try or an unexpected trip away.

2. Together time. With two kids under foot we find it incredibly important to have a date night every now and again. It’s not scheduled religiously, rather created as we feel we need that reconnection. Sometimes we might head to a local ice-cream shop in the evening together while the grandparents watch the kids. Sometimes a movie. Sometime dinner. The location is not really important. The focus is on just the two of us without needing to share our space with the kids. I’m a firm believer that anywhere can be romantic if you frame it well.

3. Individual bucket lists. When we travel we have learned that the two of us can have some very different expectations from the trip. I like to visit museums, galleries and historic sites. T is interested in food (both where to eat and where the produce is sourced), cars, sport and people. If we travel to a location and just focus on the interest of one the other becomes overwhelmed. Successful trips combine both our passions and bring us together. Of course, romance always blossoms straight after one of those items is ticked off our list 😉

4. Romance doesn’t need to be expensive. It’s true, right? Love isn’t roses and chocolates, perfume and jewellery. Whilst they can be little tokens of love, they aren’t really togetherness. I think that true romance is demonstrated through the little things. Boarding a boat that T has refused to go on (he really did have a boat phobia!) only to find him sitting next to you 10 minutes later. Opening a package to find the $2 vending machine ring you wanted as a little girl that he somehow found on eBay and surprised you with. Kisses under the Milky Way. Holding hands in the Chinese Gardens. Little acts that don’t need strategic thinking will bring happiness to your partnership. Gosh, cheese toasties in bed can be romantic these days.

5. Go early to bed together (without a book). I think this needs to be out there. I know, I know…sometimes the only time we have to ‘ourselves’ is after the kids go to bed and the chores are done. This can sometimes be as late as 10.00 pm, right? All we want to do is sit back and relax and watch that guy in The Arrow. At least once a week, maybe even two or three times if you can manage it, go to bed early and talk……it will probably lead somewhere romantic. It does wonders, I promise.

6. Learn the art of compromise. We both have very firm ideas about the things we won’t compromise on. For me it is travel and books. We have to travel regularly and I need to have ongoing access to new books (they keep me sane). For T it is his car hobby. The other things we can discuss and come to an understanding. This works for us and keeps us both happy and in the mood for love.

Of course every couple is different and will have different ways of keeping the romance alive in their relationship. I would love to hear what you think are some of the tricks to a healthy and romantic relationship.

 This year I gifted T an assortment of these gorgeous love notes on biscuits from Blank Goods. I wrote the notes myself just for him.